Getting to grips with the menopause metamorphosis

The dictionary definition of metamorphosis is ‘a change of the form or nature of a person or thing into a completely different one.’

For me this very accurately describes the menopausal journey as I have so far experienced it.

It also explains what I often hear from women in my practice at this stage in their lives – “I just don’t feel myself. I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Menopause is actually one of several metamorphoses women go through – puberty and pregnancy being the others. These are all times of major hormonal change, impacting us physically, mentally and emotionally.

These transformations change who we are.

Not everyone finds the journey to menopause difficult, but many of us do. It can last anything from 2 years to 10 years and be accompanied by a whole raft of symptoms.

Understanding the wider context of menopause as a massive transformation can help us prepare for it and navigate our way through it once we’re in it.

The stages of menopause

If you’re in your 40s - even if you haven’t noticed any symptoms – your menopausal journey has undoubtedly begun.

Perimenopause lasts on average 4 years but can be as long as 10 years. Oestrogen and progesterone levels start to fluctuate and gradually decline as the body prepares to stop ovulating.

Menopause itself is one day long and marks one year since your last period – so you only know you’ve reached it in retrospect. In the UK the average age for menopause is 51.

Postmenopause is all the years after menopause – incredibly we spend on average a third of our lives in this stage.

Like puberty and pregnancy before it, the menopausal journey is different for each one of us. There are of course common symptoms but your experience of it is unique to you.

This is both the joy and the challenge of transformation.

A time of discovery

Constant change is a hallmark of perimenopause. You may have months of a regular cycle where everything is just as it was before.

Then you miss a period or it’s late, and you’re suddenly dealing with night sweats, insomnia and mood swings that make pre-menstrual irritability look like a walk in the park!

We perhaps don’t appreciate how much of an anchor our menstrual cycle has been until we’re in the throes of these unsettling fluctuations.

Not being able to connect how you feel to where you are in your cycle can be extremely disorienting and confusing.

The truth is it’s meant to be unsettling. We’re supposed to feel unmoored.

At the heart of every transformation is a process of stripping back familiar patterns and belief systems to help us discover who we really are.

If you have teenage children or remember your own adolescence, you’ll know it’s essentially a time of working out who you are and challenging the values and beliefs you’ve grown up around.

In perimenopause this stripping back and laying bare can be confronting and painful - we’ve lived more and experienced more since adolescence.

Whatever difficulties we’ve had up to this point that haven’t been fully processed or resolved can re-surface – often suddenly and with fierce intensity.

These challenges might show up in our relationships as we no longer find it easy to keep a lid on our grievances. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve experienced perimenopausal rage!

Or they could take the form of grief for past losses and disappointments, shame about experiences we’ve had, or anger we haven’t totally let go of.

I really believe this is all ‘delivered’ back to us in perimenopause as a huge opportunity to take stock. To get to the bottom of what’s bothering us, look at in all its rawness and finally let go of it.

It’s an opportunity to shed the weight of grief, trauma and anger so it doesn’t hold us back in the next chapter of our lives.

Supporting yourself

This process of transformation is the backdrop to all the physical challenges of perimenopause.

That’s not to say that if you’re suffering with hot flushes it’s your fault for not having sorted out your anger issues!

The journey to menopause can be complex, but making time to understand whatever issues have resurfaced for you emotionally will make it easier to cope.

There won’t be a prize for keeping calm and carrying on ‘as normal’ – neither will there be a prize for getting to menopause without support :-)

Support comes in many forms. What works for others may not be right for you, and what works for you will probably change throughout your menopause journey.

Here are some tips for supporting yourself:

Practice resting more often – it sounds simple but I know it’s hard to do in practice! Lying down for just 10 minutes can make a huge difference to your energy levels and outlook.

Find a way to reflect that appeals to you – I love journalling because I find writing therapeutic and it’s given me many insights. Reflecting could also be sitting quietly by yourself for 10 minutes with a cup of tea and no distractions.

Consider talking therapy – you don’t have to be depressed or having relationship issues to benefit from therapy. If you don’t know what’s wrong or what you need to resolve, it’ll help you find out. Therapy can give you perspective and it’s incredibly nurturing.

Look for ways to connect to yourself physically – through massage, yoga or meditation for example. It’s so easy to live in our heads and letting go of anything is impossible if we’re disconnected from our bodies.

Visualise your postmenopausal life – what are you doing / no longer doing? Who are you close to? What or who have you let go of? What kind of person are you now? What happens during perimenopause sows the seeds for our experience in the next phase of life.

Experiment with just saying no to things you know instinctively don’t work for you anymore. Re-connecting with your inner teenager might make this easier!

Educate yourself about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) – it can be really supportive for some women but not everyone and not for everything.

And finally…

Allow yourself to feel lost sometimes and trust that clarity will come in its own time.

It’s fantastic that the conversation around menopause has opened up in recent years, and we need to keep talking about it. It’s not a disease or a deficiency, and not something women need to be cured of.

The journey to menopause is an experience that impacts the whole of you and it’s so important to take care of yourself while this incredible metamorphosis takes shape.

As a holistic therapy, homeopathy can help support you on many levels. It’s individualised and tailored to your specific symptoms and experience, both physically and emotionally.

You don’t have to make an ‘either/or’ decision as far as HRT is concerned – homeopathy can work alongside HRT and other therapies. There’s really no ‘one size fits’ all when it comes to your health, and you’re in charge.

If you’d like to explore how homeopathy could support you on your journey to menopause and beyond, do get in touch - I’d love to chat. You can send me an email or book a free call with me:

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